The Boy Between by Amanda Prowse & Josiah Hartley

I am delighted to share my review of The Boy Between for my stop on the blog tour. Huge thanks to Kelly Lacey at Love Books Tours for the invitation and to the authors for my review copy. I have tried to put my thoughts down but I'm worried they've come out as one huge nonsensical jumble! I certainly haven't done the book justice, but I've tried.  This is a powerful, personal book with touched me and moved me to tears more than once. I would encourage everyone to read it. 

The Blurb: 

Bestselling novelist Amanda Prowse knew how to resolve a fictional family crisis. But then her son came to her with a real one… 

Josiah was nineteen with the world at his feet when things changed. Without warning, the new university student’s mental health deteriorated to the point that he planned his own death. His mother, bestselling author Amanda Prowse, found herself grappling for ways to help him, with no clear sense of where that could be found. This is the book they wish had been there for them during those dark times. 

Josiah’s situation is not unusual: the statistics on student mental health are terrifying. And he was not the only one suffering; his family was also hijacked by his illness, watching him struggle and fearing the day he might succeed in taking his life. 

In this book, Josiah and Amanda hope to give a voice to those who suffer, and to show them that help can be found. It is Josiah’s raw, at times bleak, sometimes humorous, but always honest account of what it is like to live with depression. It is Amanda’s heart-rending account of her pain at watching him suffer, speaking from the heart about a mother’s love for her child. 

For anyone with depression and anyone who loves someone with depression, Amanda and Josiah have a clear message—you are not alone, and there is hope. 

The Boy Between was published by Little A on 1st November 2020. You can purchase it from Bookshop (supporting indie bookshops) Hive (supporting indie bookshops), Waterstones and Amazon or your usual bookseller. 

My Review: 

Oh my word, my emotions went right through the wringer with this book - it has all the feels! 

Josh is a young man from a close, loving family, achieving well at school, predicted great grades with conditional offers from brilliant universities when he is suddenly hit by depression. Depression which gets so bad he makes plans to escape it. Permanently. This is his story, and the story of his mum Amanda as she comes to terms with Josh's depression,  tries to under it and work out how she can best support her son. There are some tough times for her, husband Simeon and other son Ben, but Josh has the hardest time of all. 

I was keen to read this book for two reasons. I live with anxiety based depression. I am fortunate never to have felt as low as Josh (there but by the grace...) but I know what it's like to feel empty, or to cry at everything. Or nothing. Secondly, I am the mother of two boys in their late teens who've both had their struggles (not depression). And I have often lay awake wondering if their dad and I had done the best we could for them, made the right choices, consulted the right people, etc. So I could relate in some small way to the words of both Josh and Amanda. 

The opening sentence of the prologue is 'The decision to end my life was one that came easily.' This book is very open,  honest and raw. Josh is unflinching about his moods, his frustration, his shame and his use of alcohol for self medication. He is also clear about why he felt that suicide was the way out. I can only imagine how hard it was for him to revisit that time for the writing of this book, it was difficult to read in places. For Amanda, to see her child deteriorating in front of her, and not knowing how to reach him must have been heartbreaking for her. Especially knowing that he wanted to end his life. It was certainly heartbreaking to read. There is a moment in the book when Amanda is trying to make Christmas jolly and fun in the hope it will lift Josh's mood. The extended family are hugely supportive but the joy doesn't get through to Josh. She writes 'Their words slid from his sadness and pooled on the floor for us to slip in.' I found that sentence both beautiful and heartbreaking. 

But there are two other people deeply affected by Josh's illness. Theirs is a blended family - Josh's friend Ben becomes his brother when Simeon marries Amanda. Simeon is incredibly supportive of Josh. And Amanda, of course. Arguably, he takes on more than most stepdads but he never once shirks his responsibility. Josh clearly appreciates Simeon and the way he speaks about him in an early chapter is just lovely. I had tears in my eyes. In a later chapter the stress of it all hits Simeon and it proves to be a turning point for the family. I was in tears reading it but so pleased they all opened up to each other. 

There were so, so many moments that touched me. It shows the power of an inspiring teacher and the damage caused by bad ones. When Josh takes part, very successfully, in a public speaking event, the head teacher says to him something like 'Well I never, who knew you could do that?' and Josh replies 'I did, Sir, I knew.' I cried that Josh had to say it but was so proud of him for doing it! 

This is a very personal story which Josh and Amanda been brave enough to share, and I know it will touch many people. Whilst more people are talking openly about depression, it's still not enough, and I really hope this will encourage more people to open up. Particularly young men. The suicide rate of men under  is very high and part of that is because men feel unable to open up. Josh was brave enough to open up to his family and then to the world via this book, so I hope any struggling young man who reads his story will reach out to someone close.  

Josh, thank you for sharing your story. I hope that you are very proud about how far you've come and how well you're doing. I'm so happy you're hopeful about the future. Thank you for your honesty. Amanda, I felt your pain. Thank you for being so open. The Boy Between is heartbreaking, heartfelt, honest, raw, beautiful and hopeful and will stay with me for a long time. Please read it. 

The Authors: 

Josiah (Josh) Hartley lives in an isolated farmhouse in the West Country, but close enough to Bristol to enjoy its music scene. He is an animal lover and servant to two French Bulldogs. Equally happy at a music festival or watching rugby with his mates, he likes the outdoor life and with Devon only a short drive away often heads to the sea to surf and sit on the beach watching the sun go down. After a stint at the University of Southampton and another at the University of Bristol and one unsuccessful suicide attempt, Josh decided to write about his descent into mental illness and the depression that has held him in its grip for the past few years. The Boy Between carries the overriding message that things can and often do get better. It’s a book of reflection, raw, honest and full of hope: the proof being that Josh is still here and now excited about what comes next. He is ready to catch any opportunities that life throws his way, quite a thing for someone who only three years ago was living in a world gone grey, ready to disappear from the face of the earth… 

Amanda Prowse likens her own life story to those she writes about in her books. After self-publishing her debut novel, Poppy Day, in 2011, she has gone on to author twenty-five novels and six novellas. Her books have been translated into a dozen languages and she regularly tops bestseller charts all over the world. Remaining true to her ethos, Amanda writes stories of ordinary women and their families who find their strength, courage and love tested in ways they never imagined. The most prolific female contemporary fiction writer in the UK, with a legion of loyal readers, she goes from strength to strength. Being crowned ‘queen of domestic drama’ by the Daily Mail was one of her finest moments. Amanda is a regular contributor on TV and radio but her first love is, and will always be, writing. This is her first work of non-fiction. 

You can find her online at www.amandaprowse.com, on Twitter or Instagram @MrsAmandaProwse, and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/amandaprowsenogreaterlove.