Candy Canes and Buckets of Blood by Heide Goody and Iain Grant

Having read and enjoyed previous books by Heide and Iain (including Snowflake), I was delighted to get the chance to read this one through the Reviewers' Request Group at THE Book Club on Facebook. Thank you to the admins of that group and to the authors for my review copy. 

The Blurb:

Christmas is a time for families to come together.

Guin Roberts can’t think of anything worse than visiting a Christmas market with her new family. Guin is perfectly happy with her own company and doesn’t want that disrupted by her wisecracking stepbrother and his earnest mum.

Their Christmas celebrations are invaded by a sleigh full of murderous elves. And it doesn’t matter if they’ve been naughty or nice — these elves are out for blood.

Can the family band together to survive the night? Or will Santa’s little helpers make mincemeat of them all?

Candy Canes and Buckets of Blood was published by Pigeon Park Press on 21st September 2019 and you can purchase it from Amazon UK and Amazon US.

My Review: 

I love Christmas, but I'm not one for schmaltzy seasonal books and films - Die Hard is my Christmas movie! But give me murderous Christmas elves and I'm right there! 

Lovers Esther and Dave are hoping to marry soon, but their kids haven't met yet. So Esther and her 16 year old son Newton are going to spend Christmas with Dave and his daughter Guin, who is 10, to see how they all get along. After picking up Esther and Newton from the station, the soon-to-be family head off to spend the afternoon at a local Christmas market before moving on to Dave's house. But this isn't like any other Christmas market, and the team spend the rest of the book trying to outwit and outrun hundreds (at least it seemed that many) of blood thirsty elves. 

This is the kids' story. Newton is adorable, probably gentler than most teenage boys, he loves his mum and his visits to his local stable. He is a sweet boy, who does his best to make people, particularly his mum, happy and keep their spirits up. But when pushed into a corner, he proves to be very resourceful. I loved Guin. She's an unusual child, without many friends, so she makes her own from wire, tin foil and the like and has deep philosophical discussions with them. Of the four, she's the most level headed and inventive in trying to get the family out of their predicament. Although Dave and Esther deserve a mention for their 'elf-stabbing tractor fender'. 

This is such a funny story, but with loads of complete gross out moments. It's full of blood, body parts, gloop and violence - it's not for the faint hearted! But it's delivered with a hefty dose of humour. The story, as I've come to expect from these authors, is more than slightly bonkers, but I mean this in the best possible way! It's hugely creative and I loved the nod to various action movies. And the elves know the term 'Bobby Dazzler'! I laughed out loud at that.

My copy (eBook) had a few typos in it, but hopefully these have been picked up and remedied now. Those aside, I loved this book - definitely my kind of Christmas story!

The Authors:

Heide inflicts unsuitable content upon the world by whatever devious means she can find. She is, with Iain Grant, co-author of the Clovenhoof series, the Satan-in-suburbia comic novel and several other books set in the same world. Heide lives in North Warwickshire, England with her husband and children.

Iain Grant is an author of short stories and novels, ranging from contemporary literature to fantasy and horror. His short stories have appeared in numerous magazines and anthologies. He is perhaps best known for the Clovenhoof comic novels co-written with Heide Goody. Iain’s solo work includes children’s books, thrillers and a steampunk omnibus, “The Gears of Madness”.